Sue Scheff’s Blog

By Education.com

Author: Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW
Source: National Association of Social Workers

Introduction

Counseling teens can be tricky business. Often when social workers receives a call for help to counsel a teen it is from from an exasperated parent who no longer can tolerate the behaviour of their son or daughter. The teen is presented as out of control. There may be concerns of drugs or alcohol; school performance; and/or the influence of the peer group. The teen may be described as depressed, anxious, angry or even suicidal.

The parent wants the counsellor to meet with their son or daughter. The subtext is a parent wanting the counsellor to talk some sense into their child. The hope is that the counsellor can wag an even bigger finger in front of the teen for an effect more profound than that of the parent or miraculously get the teen to open up.

Wagging fingers doesn’t work. If the teen isn’t talking to their parents, then dragging them off to the counsellor as an agent of the parent likely won’t work either. If the teen does meet first with the counsellor and does talk, what is often heard is a litany of complaints about the parents. The counsellor is next in the middle between parents and teen playing “he said, she said”. So what is a parent to do?

Parents are advised to meet with the counsellor together, ahead of their son or daughter. This achieves several objectives:

1. Parents can provide a detailed description of their concern and the history of the problems. The counsellor then has a broader perspective to understand the issues than what the teen would likely provide.
2. Some teens (like adults) view counselling as stigmatizing. The counsellor may be able to avoid this by arriving at a clinical diagnosis of the problem. This means that on the basis of the parents’ description, the counsellor may come to an understanding of the problem and can direct the parents accordingly. If the counsellor can offer meaningful direction without even seeing the teen, then the teen may be spared feeling stigmatized. If need be though, the counsellor can still meet with the teen directly.
3. The parents will have had the opportunity to check out the counsellor and determine if they are comfortable trusting their son or daughter’s care to this person. Not all counsellors are alike and the parents may prefer the approach or values of one counsellor to another.

Lastly, parents must understand that the counsellor doesn’t live with the teen. The parents do. Even though the focus of what brought the teen into counselling may begin with their behaviour and problems, at some point the counselling must take focus on a positive direction and look for solutions with parents as partners. The solutions should include not only what not to do, but include clear direction for what to do. Dwelling on the problems will leave participants immersed in the negative, living in the past. Refocusing and developing positive strategies for improving relationships and behaviour can redirect both parents and teen to positive ends.

So, if you are looking for counselling for your teen:

1. Meet with the counsellor first.
2. Determine if your teen needs to be seen in discussion with the counsellor at this meeting.
3. Remember, the counsellor doesn’t live with your teen. Counselling may be directed to help parents better guide, manage or influence their teen.
4. If your teen does attend counselling, your participation remains crucial.
5. After determining and addressing the problems, the focus must shift to positive working solutions that are future oriented and facilitate parent-teen relationships.
6. If ever you are uncertain, ask questions!

The goal: Relief from distress and well-adjusted teens.

To read more articles by Gary Direnfeld, go to www.yoursocialworker.com.

The opinions expressed in this article are those of the writer, and do not necessarily reflect those of the National Association of Social Workers or its members.

By Connect with Kids

Nineteen-year-old Will Kelly is pounding the pavement, knocking on doors and talking to voters.

Seventeen-year-old Amelia Hartley is answering phones, making copies and filing news clips.

She is a die-hard Democrat, and he is a faithful Republican. Both teenagers have a passion for politics and for getting involved.

“To be honest,” Will says of his volunteer work, “because I care about what’s going on and it troubles me to see how so many people become apathetic with what they do have in this country – that we take so much for granted.”

“At 17, I can’t vote yet, I don’t pay taxes, but within a year I’m going to have to know enough about leaders – not only national, but local and state – to be able to say who I want running things,” says Amelia of her involvement.

According to the Center for Information and Research on Civic Learning and Engagement, young voters are turning up in record numbers this presidential election.

One reason, experts say, their parents.

“There has been quite a bit of research that shows that when parents talk about politics with their kids, when they participate themselves, when they take their kids to vote with them, that all this leads to a higher level of interest in politics among the children,” says Dr. Alan Abramowitz, a political science professor at Emory University.

It is a level of interest, Dr. Abramowitz adds, that persists over time. “Even many years later, those who were raised in families that were politically active and where the parents talked about politics remain more active themselves.”

Amelia and Will say they’ve been invigorated by the hard work of politics. And, in fact, it’s sparked an interest.

“Is there a future in politics for me?” Will ponders. “Well that’s a question I seem to ask myself a lot. We’ll have to see.”

“There are a lot of career paths I’m considering,” says Amelia, “and politics is definitely one of them.”

Tips for Parents

The polls are showing teens are lining up in record numbers to have their say in this year’s election.  Consider these statistics from a recent poll by Time Magazine, among 18-29 year olds:

• 70% said they are paying attention to the race
• 53% said Barack Obama was the candidate best described as ‘inspirational’
• 83% said this election will have a great impact on the country
• A majority (54%) say the US was wrong to go to war in Iraq
• 80% of young people rate the economic conditions in this country as only fair or poor
• Nearly three-quarters of the respondents said they feel the country is headed down the wrong track
• Affordable health care (62%), the Iraq War (59%), and being able to find a stable, good paying job (58%) are the top issues a majority of young people worry about the most.

More than 6.5 million young people under the age of 30 participated in the 2008 primaries and caucuses.  In fact, Obama’s margin of victory in Iowa came almost entirely from voters under 25 years old.  In New Hampshire, his edge among young voters was 3 to 1; in Nevada, it was 2 to 1; and in Michigan, nearly 50,000 under-30s voted “Uncommitted” because Clinton’s name was the only one on the ballot.

The Center for Information and Research on Civic Learning and Engagement, getting kids involved in a civics or government class is a great way to get them more interested in the elections.  From the 2006 Civic and Political Health of the Nation Report, young people who report that they recently choose to take a civics or government class are more likely than other young people to say that:

• they helped solve a community problem,
• they can make a difference in their community,
• they have volunteered recently,
• they trust other people and the government,
• they have made consumer decisions for ethical or political reasons,
• they believe in the importance of voting, and
• they are registered to vote.

Parents are also one of the greatest influences on young voters. 

• Start with the basics.  Make sure your 18-year-old knows when and where to vote.
• Getting your 18-year-old to the polls could pay big dividends.  People who have been motivated to vote once are more likely to become repeat voters. 
• Acquire and fill out voter registration forms with your teen. If your teen meets age requirements, you should each fill out a voter registration form.
• If your teen meets age requirements on Election Day, go to your polling place together to cast your ballots.
• If your teen doesn’t meet age requirements for the 2008 election, but will turn 18 before the 2012 election, involve them in the current election as preparation for the next election.
• Consider taking teens between 14 and 17 to the polling place with you.  Even if they are not permitted inside for security reasons, the visit will demystify the voting process.
• Remind your child that the November election is the result of many local primaries and that Americans are able to vote for their national, state and local leaders.
• Kids who are not old enough to vote can still have an impact on elections.  Encourage kids to get involved in the political process.  They can go door-to-door in support of candidates or help with fundraising efforts.
• It can seem daunting to research candidates, because information on the different races is not centralized in one place.  Parents can share news articles with their kids.  The key is to engage students with issues they will find relevant to their lives. 

References

• Time Magazine
• The Center for Information and Research on Civic Learning and Engagement

10 Tips For Keeping Your Kids Safe On Social Networks

ATLANTA, GA — May 28, 2008 — June is Internet Safety month.  With hundred of millions of teens, pre-teens—and adults—around the world using social networking sites, there’s no better time for parents to be aware of the fun, the benefits, the powerful attractions, and the potential risks that MySpace, Facebook and other similar sites offer their children.

InternetSafety.com, the recognized leader in Internet safety solutions, has assembled a list of practical tips parents can use to ensure a safe networking environment for kids:

• Show Interest — Ask questions about how your child’s preferred social networking site or sites work.  Kids are generally happy to demonstrate their knowledge if you show genuine interest.  You can even ask your teen to show you how to set up your own social networking site—a great way to visit your child’s page and see what’s been posted there.

• Encourage Instinctive Responses — Kids often can instinctively do the right thing, which makes them their own first defense against those who may take advantage online.  Encourage your children to avoid contact with people they “feel funny about.”  Tell them to not reveal anything online they would not want a stranger to know.  Limit the posting of pictures and remind them that once something is placed online, it can never be taken back.
• Know Your Kids’ Passwords — If your child changes his or her password suddenly and refuses to share it with you, that’s trouble.  Insist on knowing how to access his or her accounts—then keep their confidence by not sharing the information with their friends or siblings.
• Set Hours for When Kids Can Access Social Networks — Late nights are the favorite time for predators to seek out their adolescent prey.  Set firm limits not only for the time of day, but also the total amount of time, that your children may access social networking sites.
• Be Aware of Alternate Access Points — Kids don’t have to access their social networks at home.  Libraries, friends’ houses, even cell phones make the Internet easy to reach today.  Keep up with what’s happening on your child’s social networking page and be aware when changes have been made despite the lack of access from home.
• Exercise Your Parental Right to Supervise — There’s a difference between being snoopy and ensuring safe activity.  You don’t have to read every last word of a personal message your son or daughter sends to a friend.  But you do have the right—and the obligation—to see who your kids are talking to, and to know the general subject matter. 
• Check for Photos — By clicking on the Windows “Start” button, you’ll find the “Search” tool.  Click on “Pictures, Music or Video,” the box next to “Pictures and Photos,” and finally “Search”.  Ask your child to identify any photos of strangers, or any other pictures you find questionable.
• Install Filtering Software — PC products like Safe Eyes allow parents to block or record Instant Messenger chats, limit email use to prescribed addresses, block objectionable Web sites (including peer-to-peer file sharing programs that often expose kids to inappropriate material), and receive alerts when kids post personal information on social networking sites.
• Watch for CyberBullying — Encourage your children to tell you immediately if they are being harassed online.  Children also need to know that it is not acceptable to be a party to cyberbullying—or to remain silent when they know others are being harassed.  Visit StopCyberBullying.org or StopBullyingNow.hrsa.gov for excellent tips and information.
• Don’t Lecture — Finally, if you should find reasons for concern, don’t browbeat, insult or condescend to your child.  Have a discussion about values and why they are important.  Respect your child but be firm.  And most of all, lead by example.  Parents have a powerful ability to influence their child’s behavior—and nothing is more powerful than someone who not only talks values, but lives them.

“Parents should never feel that their level of involvement in their child’s social network activity is excessive.  Since 1998, the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children’s CyberTipline has logged over 33,000 tips about children being enticed online for sexual acts,” said Shane Kenny, President and COO of InternetSafety.com.  “Better that the parent error on the side of intrusion, rather than bear the consequences of doing nothing.”

About InternetSafety.com

Established in 1999, InternetSafety.com specializes in providing Internet safety solutions.  Its flagship software, Safe Eyes, is the two-time recipient of the PC Magazine Editors’ Choice Award and was rated as the #1 parental control solution by America’s leading consumer advocacy publication.  The company’s Safe Eyes and EtherShield products are providing online protection for PCs and Macs in homes, businesses and schools across more than 125 countries. 

# # # #

Author: Judith Seixas|Geraldine Youcha
Source: NYU Child Study Center

Although the latest government study finds drug use unchanged, kids are still at risk and experimenting at younger ages

Risk factors

Some youngsters are clearly more likely than others to be attracted to and hooked on drugs, nicotine and alcohol. The risk increases with any of these factors and a cluster of these factors can tip the scales:

1. A family history of drug use or alcoholism

2. A family in turmoil

3. Learning difficulties

4. Behavioral problems before adolescence

5. Early school failure

6. Hyperactivity

7. Poor impulse control

8. Rebelliousness

9. Low self-esteem

10. The belief that “it can’t happen to me”

11. Thinking marijuana (or cocaine, or heroin if it is not injected) is not addictive 

Warning signs

There are also warning signs that can help parents decide if a problem is brewing or a child is already involved in substance use. Adolescence is a bumpy ride, and some of these warning signs may only be the normal symptoms of growing up, but parents have to be alert to the possibility that, with their particular child, they may indicate trouble. In general, you should suspect some drug use if you observe one or more of these indicators:

1. A change of friends from those you know and new friends who seem to avoid you. But don’t pin all your youngster’s troubles on “bad friends.” Often the child who is already troubled is the one who is drawn to a group that is taking dangerous risks and is heavily committed to using alcohol and drugs.
2. Friendship with older teenagers and young adults. Older users need the attention and admiration they get from younger kids and often entice them to be followers and dealers.
3. A best friend who uses drugs. This is the single best indicator of use.
4. Daily cigarette smoking. This is an early warning that other substance use may be in the picture.
5. A deterioration in appearance. The reverse is not necessarily a safety signal. Many drug users look like clean-cut all-American kids instead of stereotypical drug users.
6. A decline in performance at home. Chores may be neglected or done sloppily; curfew may be ignored.
7. A change in school performance. The drop in grades may or may not be a dramatic sign by itself, but watch for tardiness, truancy, and disciplinary problems.
8. Use of street or drug language.
9. Hypersensitivity, irritability. The teenage user is often hostile, avoids family contact, overreacts to mild criticism, and deflects the topic when pressed for accountability.
10. Lack of concern about people, ideas, and values that used to be very important.
11. Wide mood swings. Although mood changes are a normal part of adolescence, extreme emotional swings indicate a problem and be the result of drug or alcohol use.
12. Secretive phone calls. Callers who hang up when you answer may be your child’s new friends or acquaintances involved in substance use.
13. The disappearance of money, personal belongings, pills or alcohol.
14. The sudden appearance of expensive merchandise. Electronic equipment, clothes, or jewelry your child can’t possibly afford may indicate drug dealing. Be mindful that a teenager will often deny any illegal or inappropriate activity with explanations such as, “I borrowed it from a friend.”
15. Lying.
16. Trouble with the law. Kids may be picked up for shoplifting, driving while intoxicated, disorderly conduct. 

What if?

What if your suspicion about your child’s drug use is accurate? How can you tell use from abuse? One counselor has a simple rule of thumb: three tries is experimentation; more than that is use. Abuse is characterized by the need to have the drug (whether it is marijuana, cocaine, alcohol or tobacco) and preoccupation with getting it.

Once you’ve faced reality and know that your child needs help, the most crucial step is getting the right help. You must determine what kind of intervention is best for your particular child and what is available close to home. The right help at the right time can get your child back on track. You may not know where to turn first. You can begin by using your local phone book. Start with a call to one or more of these:

• Your family doctor
• Hotline: usually listed under Alcoholism Treatment or Drug Abuse Information and Treatment in the yellow pages
• Community Services: often in the white pages
• An agency specializing in treating drug/alcohol abuse and related problems: often listed in the yellow pages under Drug Abuse
• A local counseling or mental health center: often under the yellow pages
• A community-based storefront counseling center
• A social worker, psychologist, or drug counselor
• The school guidance department or student assistance service
• A police youth officer
• A clergyman
• A relative, particularly one in a helping profession 

Children who don’t use drugs

Despite the fact that drugs, alcohol and tobacco are available everywhere, some kids don’t get involved. More than half of all high school seniors have not tried marijuana, and alcohol, our social drug, has not been tried by about twenty percent of twelfth graders. Unfortunately, for those who do drink, binge drinking (5 or more drinks in a row) is a pervasive problem. What helps some youngsters avoid the pitfall of today’s world? Some children just seem to have an inner compass. They say very early, “That’s not me.” In addition, a national study (The National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, 1997) found that teenagers who feel “connected”-who feel loved, understood and feel their parents pay attention to them-were less likely to use drugs. Parents can help protect their children by providing:

• Trust and support. A study of seven thousand youngsters showed that those who didn’t have the trust and support of their parents were more likely to cave in to peer pressure.
• Realistically hight academic standards.
• The chance to succeed.
• The chance to fail and still be accepted.
• Praise, love and physical touching. The “Did you hug your kid today?” bumper stickers apply to kids of all ages - teens as well as toddlers. Adolescents sometimes cringe, but don’t let that inhibit you or make you think they need it any less than a younger child.

Whatever the reasons, and they are many-parental concern and involvement, a changing social climate that makes drug use, drunk driving, and smoking in public less “cool” than it once was-the rise in substance use seen in the early nineties seems to have been stemmed and may even be reversing. But this is no reason for complacency. It means only that the fever that had been 104 is now 102, and needs continuing attention.

About the Authors

Judith S. Seixas, a credentialed alcoholism counselor, who has written many books for young readers, including Alcohol: What It Is, What It Does; Drugs: What They Are, What They Do; and Living with a Parent Who Drinks Too Much.

Geraldine Youcha, author of Minding the Children: Child Care in American from Colonial Times to the Present and Alcohol: A Dangerous Pleasure. She has also written frequently about drug use and its side effects on the family for major magazines.

Judith S. Seixas and Geraldine Youcha are the co-authors of Children of Alcoholism: A Survivor’s Manual.

References and Related Books

Drugs, Alcohol and Your Children: What Every Parent Needs to Know
J.S. Seixas & G. Youcha
Penguin Books 1999

Tips for Teens
http://ncadi.samhsa.gov/features/youth/

AboutOurKids Related Articles

Adolescent Substance Abuse and School Policy

Choosing a Mental Health Professional

Current Trends in the Understanding and Treaqtment of Social Phobia

Zero Tolerance Policies: Are They Too Tough or Not Tough Enough?

About the NYU Child Study Center

The New York University Child Study Center is dedicated to increasing the awareness of child and adolescent psychiatric disorders and improving the research necessary to advance the prevention, identification, and treatment of these disorders on a national scale. The Center offers expert psychiatric services for children, adolescents, young adults, and families with emphasis on early diagnosis and intervention. The Center’s mission is to bridge the gap between science and practice, integrating the finest research with patient care and state-of-the-art training utilizing the resources of the New York University School of Medicine. The Child Study Center was founded in 1997 and established as the Department of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry within the NYU School of Medicine in 2006. For more information, please call us at (212) 263-6622 or visit us at www.AboutOurKids.org.

Any person who has had even a minor experience with acne can attest to how devastating its psychological effects can be. As a licensed skin care professional, and mother of two children who suffered with acne during their early teens I have seen first-hand the devastating psychological effects that teenage acne can have on young boys and girls.

Healthy skin makes us feel good but when severe acne strikes, the negative effects can be felt as low self-esteem, social isolation, loneliness and even mental illnesses like anxiety, phobias and depression. It is very important to adopt good attitudes and self-confidence strategies to help counter the psychological effects of teenage acne, but treating the acne should be every teen or parent’s first line of defense. There are many available treatments for acne including, hormonal, skin laser therapy, topical treatments, and even antibiotic therapy. However, in the absence of prescriptions that really work most young boys and girls begin to lose hope.

Not only does a young boy or girl have to cope with physical scars that might make them feel isolated and lonely, they also have to cope with the psychological effects of teenage acne at a time when their self-esteem is growing and delicate.

Even though I knew that acne affects millions of teens worldwide and doesn’t discriminate between gender, ethnic background, education, or financial status, it was just as difficult to see my children’s personalities changing before my very eyes and struggling to maintain their self-esteem and confidence in the face of acne-related breakouts. Acne breakouts in teenage boys and girls make them feel ashamed, embarrassed and isolated. As a parent, I felt helpless.

Read entire article here: http://teenage-acne.net/the-psychological-effects-teenage-acne-boys-and-girls.html